Have you felt the Holy Spirit move you to do something, and then you feel lost?

I don't know how much time I will have to write today, so if I don't get all my thoughts down today I'll write some more tomorrow. I always have a hard time putting my thoughts down in a way that are understandable.

So let me begin by saying that I felt the Holy Spirit move me to do volunteer work as a Guardian Ad Litem. If you asked me two months ago what I would be doing in the next months I wouldn't have had a clue that I would be going to training classes to be a Guardian ad Litem. I didn't really know what a Guardian ad Litem was. I felt moved to look for volunteer work, that's when I came across an ad saying they needed volunteers in our community. I called that Monday, and they were starting the training classes that very night. That was a confirmation that everything seemed to be falling in to place, that I was meant to be doing this. Then my faith was tested by me getting lost. I actually prayed, "God is this what you really want me to do? " I really was very frustrated and ready to call it quits and head back home. That's when I got my second confirmation, when my prayer was answered. As soon as I got finished with my prayer a lady walks up to the car and gives me directions that led me straight to where I wanted to be.

Let's talk about now.. I have been attending the training classes, and I have been struggling with some of the things that I have been hearing. I had to watch a video one night in training that made me cry. Actually I have cried a couple of nights after and during the training classes. Let me get around to why I cried. I heard things, unspeakable abuse towards children that I can't fathom. I was thinking how could anyone do these things. I can't go into specifics, it's just to hard. It's better I leave it at unspeakable abuse, torture is what I consider it.

So I'm thinking yet again, will I be able to do this. In the back of my mind I have a little voice saying look you can't even bear to hear these things or watch a video about it. The little voice is saying what must it have been like for these children. I am very insecure and I think how would I be able to help.

I'm going to have to finish my thoughts up later.. Even now thinking about it is making my chest tight and my thoughts jumble.